Friday, May 4, 2012

God 1st, Spouse 2nd, Kids 3rd

It isn't valentine's day and it's not my anniversary but I would like to post today a little about Loooove ;)
I haven't been posting much because we have been super busy with homeschool, t-ball, and sickness. Poor big brother has conjunctivitis and I'm under allergy attack but the blog must go on!

On valentine's day some friends of ours offered to babysit while Ty and I went on a date. Can I even tell you how special that was to us? Ty and I very rarely get out alone together and it stinks. Part of it is because we just feel bad asking anyone and the other part is most of our friends have little ones also and it just seems with bedtime and chaos- we just feel like it's too much to ask.  So yes, basically both parts involve us feeling bad lol. We do however know how important it is for us to be alone and to be intentional about 'dates' even if it's staying in so we definitely  make good use of the time we have when the boys go to bed @ 7:30 sharp! Some nights we will sit at the table and feed the kids dinner and when they go to bed, we will eat ours with music & candles (We actually do this a lot). Other nights we will rent a movie and cuddle on the couch together.  Last summer we actually had a fire in the fire pit in the backyard and sat out there with the video monitor peeking out the window so we could hear (and see!) if the kiddos needed us. 

All that to say, it's important for us to make time for each other without the kiddos to reconnect, communicate about the week/day, and just enjoy each others company. It's sad to me when I see couples focus all their time, attention, & energy on the kids and wonder why their marriage is rocky. It's a fact- kids need us for almost everything and we need to give them attention. A.LOT. but we need to be intentional about not making them the center of the family. Yes, it's counter-cultural but it works for us and we are okay with that. And trust me- our kiddos do not feel unloved or neglected! In fact, I believe it makes them feel more loved by us providing a healthy model for them to look up to. (Of coarse aside from the occasional bickering...we are human!!) ;o)  God first, Ty second, Kids 3rd.

Back to the valentine's date. I did mention in an earlier post that I was allergic to telling a short story, yes?!  So when out friends offered to babysit we knew that we'd put our kids to bed first and their little boy was going to be put down for bed in our guest room so they'd have a quiet house so we wanted to set up a little romantic vibe for them too. It was valentine's day after all! We placed out some valentines desserts, and a bottle of sparkling pomegranate bubbly (her fav plus- no wine, she's pregnant!) and made up a romantic 'question jar'. Super simple, we just thought up some questions relating to marriage and printed them up on small strips of paper and placed them in a jar. Both people had to answer the question. They said they went through the whole jar and had lots of fun. 

We realized a couple weeks ago that WE hadn't actually even touched the jar of questions. So we brought them upstairs and placed them on our nightstand. Each night before bed, we pull one out and both answer it. It's fun after 8 years of marriage to hear the answers and to still be learning about each other. I just want to encourage you if you are reading this and married- it doesn't have to be a big production to make time for your spouse. It's the little things that are consistent that will help build up your marriage. 

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